My Latest Writing Adventure

I just wanted to share this little story that I wrote this last week. A friend and coworker of mine had the idea that as a going away present for one of our student teachers, we should write her a story. I thought that sounded like a crazy idea because we only had three days in which to do it but later that day as I was sitting at recess the ideas started churning. In the little snippets of time that I could catch this is the story that came about with a very good editing job. It's nothing spectacular, just a little bit of fun. It was mimicking a group of books that we three had all been reading together so yes it is meant to be read sarcastically or at least with a sense of humor. Enjoy!

Hiding Cecily 

(A Reverse Beauty and the Beast Tale) 

Cecily is a kind and sweet girl but was fiercely beaten with the proberbial “ugly stick”. Reginald is a man who makes all the girls swoon but seeks for more than just a pretty face, yet not only is he a pretty face but also the kindest man around. In every sense the gentleman that leads to more than he bargained for as he searches for his one true love. After saving Cecily from a life-threatening accident, she disappears and he is left to wonder who she is. Reginald is the first person to ever show Cecily such kindness and this realization quickly makes her fall for the man she has admired since her childhood. He finally finds her in her hiding place in his own house! Can they overcome the bumps on her nose and other obstacles that will inevitably follow a marriage of such“an unlikely match”?  

CHAPTER 1: A Chance Encounter

One day while returning from a lunch meeting with his solicitor, Reginald hears the rumble of a carriage. Turning back to see what could be happening he noticed a woman starting into the street completely unaware of the danger speeding towards her. Unable to just sit and witness the disaster he saw coming he attempts to prevent it by hastily running towards the woman and snatching her away just in time.  

Expecting a bit of gratitude for this act of saving the woman’s life he was greatly taken aback by the harsh words thrown at him. Upon seeing him staring at her face she snapped, “why do you not paint a portrait of my face? It will certainly last longer”.

You see, Reginald had never laid eyes on a woman so ugly that he could not even discern her age, unknown to him; she was the daughter of his longtime housekeeper, who had kept her daughter hidden out of guilt that she had turned out looking so much like her father. 

Even though the biting words and disfigured face threatened to send a chill through him it was a look in her eye that caught his attention. This look was not of hatred or fear, but of hidden pain and rejection. Before he was able to get a word out, she was gone and he stood there, left alone with that look playing over in his mind. He wished he could find the cause and make it better… but she was gone. 

As Cecily ran from the man she could feel a heaviness settle in her chest. What had she just done! She had seen the master years ago when they were children but had been secretly hidden away by her mother. Her mother had feared people hurting her dear daughter so much that instead of giving her a chance kept her away from others in the kitchen pantry.  

Cecily had imagined seeing him again after all these years and each time could only imagine the look of horror she would see in his eyes, a look all to familiar to her. What took her most by surprise by their chance encounter was that despite her wretched face and unkind words she had said that look she was waiting to see from him never came, instead she saw a look she had only ever seen from her father and mother, a look of compassion and kindness. That’s what was so unsettling. What could a man possibly been thinking with a look like that on his face? 

As Reginald slowly continued on his way he couldn’t help but wonder who that woman had been and what troubles she had seen. True, she was no beauty and had a sharp tongue but then again, the beautiful women he was used to keeping company were boring and predictable, nothing but their beauty to write home about. The mystery woman’s words had stung like the crack of a whip but there was something about her lack of timidity in his presence that was refreshing and made him want to know more about her. 

Days went by and still Reginald and Cecily thought about that run in. Why had something so small and insignificant occupied so many or their thoughts? 

Cecily’s jobs in the pantry had started to pile up until her mother started to worry. Her usual pleasant and focused daughter had become tense and distracted. Many times in the week she had wandered into the pantry only to find Cecily halfway through her polishing staring off in to space, her face twisted in thought. 

“What’s the matter pet?” 

“Nothing Mother. Never is anything ever wrong with dear old Cecily. Always the same, never changing.” 

You see Cecily had the advantage over Reginald. She knew who he was and where to find him, but knew she could never do anything about it. Locked away alone in this dungeon, a hideous beast unable to have that which her heart truly desired. How could anyone ever learn to love someone so ugly? 

CHAPTER 2: A Discussion with his best friend, Ralph, who acts like a womanizing pimp in order to hide his identity as an international spy.

Reginald sat next to the fire lost in thought. He had been asking around town about the strange woman but no one seemed to know anything. Even calling upon his solicitor to search around had seemed more promising but had led to nothing. How could someone like that just disappear into thin air? 

“Mate you’ve been lost in this trance for days, you’ve got to snap out of it. The Knighton twins have called twice and you have turned them away and nobody turns the Knighton twins away!” 

“I’m tired of the charade Ralph. What’s the point? If I ever marry…” he stopped when he saw the glare on Ralph’s face and started over, “When I marry, it has to be to someone that’s got more than just a pretty face, someone with depth and more to offer than good genes. I want someone with sass.” 

“Sounds like crazy talk to me!” Ralph replied. 

CHAPTER 3: The Greek Myth Cecily’s late father used to tell her to try to explain why she was born with such an ugly face. He told her this to raise her spirits, and died praying she would never discover that he made it up.

Cecily didn’t know many people. While her father was alive things had been better, things had been happier. She never felt ugly when she was with her father. She imagined that she was young again and sitting on her father’s knee. He would tell her the story of his favorite Greek myth while rubbing oils in her hair to keep it from pre-maturely falling out. This was the story as she remembered it:

Cecily was a beautiful Goddess, the most beautiful in all of Olympus. She was kind and looked after all of the great and majestic animals on earth. Zeus had heard of her striking beauty and sought her out, intending to make her his wife. He finally found her on a nimbus cloud; she was singing a sweet and comforting tune to a young eagle that had lost its way in the sky. He was amazed by her beauty and begged her to marry him, for he could not live without her. She was conflicted, for whenever she thought about finding love, she always pictured herself with a man who could see past her beauty and love her for herself. Cecily knew immediately that Zeus was no such man. Upon refusing him, he became angry, so much so that he reached his mighty hand to the earth and formed a club from the mangled branch of a rotting tree. With this tool he beat the beauty off her face, leaving her deformed and ugly.

The animals would no longer seek comfort in Cecily, for her new face would scare them away. So instead, as Aphrodite was the runner up in the Miss Olympus pageant, she took Cecily’s place. The once beautiful Goddess then looked after the horny toads and three-legged animals in the world. They were very grateful for her care and loved her always. The bitterness she felt eventually melted from her heart and she was contented to look after the poor creatures that most needed compassion. She became grateful herself, for now she knew that when she found her true love, he would love her for her great personality and sweet spirit. Years passed, and she never became disheartened. She met a young God who was visiting from ancient Chinese mythology, he fell in love with her kind heart and they were forever happy.

Her own pain was lightened by the knowledge that one day she would meet her one true love she would become beautiful again. Not physically transformed but seen for her true self through the eyes of the one who truly loves her.  

Cecily had longed for that day and dreamt of meeting that one person other than her beloved father that could not only see her as beautiful but also make her truly believe that she was beautiful. She knew it was a dream unlikely to come true but that hope still lingered that what her father had said was true. Being rescued by Reginald that day had only made that hope burn brighter. He was the man that Cecily had dreamt of seeing her for her true self for as long as she could remember. There had never been any other to take his place but she knew even now that whatever hope she may have would be crushed by the cruel reality that she was born unlovable. 

CHAPTER 4: Back to Reginald, a mistake in his tea leads to discovery! Can it be? Oh yes, it’s she! Will he flee when he doth see? No, not he!

It was so unlike Cook to make a mistake but there was definitely something wrong with this tea. Not one to shy away from fixing his own problems, Reginald did not ringthe bell for Mr. Catesby, the butler, and instead went directly down to the kitchen to sort out the problem. Upon arriving he found it to be oddly quiet. Where had Cook gone? Where were the kitchen maids? Turning on his heel to investigate elsewhere he heard a clanging coming from inside the pantry. He opened the door; sure he would find Cook in there when instead he saw a woman polishing some silver in the darkness.

“Excuse me,” he started, “I was looking for Cook, would you be able to…” but stopped cold when the woman swung around in surprise, she had not been expecting company. There she was, the woman he had so desperately been trying to find and here she was of all places in his pantry cleaning his silver. 

“It’s you!” 

Cecily couldn’t get the words out to respond. What could she possibly say? 

“I’ve been thinking of nothing else since that day with the carriage. I’ve been looking all over town trying to find you and here you are of all places. What are you doing in here?” 

“My mother is Mrs. Landon, your housekeeper. She keeps me in here doing the odd jobs. She doesn’t like anyone to know I’m here.” She answered, her eyes downcast in shame.

“But, I don’t understand. How long has she kept you in here? How is it I have never known about you?” He asked.

She explained, “We met once as children but I have been locked away and hidden here since my father died when I was eight. I don’t mind really, I like having responsibilities, even a small insignificant one like this. I don’t like seeing many people.” 

“That seems so cruel. I won’t stand for such things to be going on in my own house. If you choose to stay we can give you a proper job.” 

“Oh please don’t. It’s better for someone like me to be here out of the way, out of sight” 

“Someone like you? I don’t understand” He said as he reached for her hand.

“Please sir, don’t mock me. Clearly you can see as well as anyone how painfully ugly I am.” She said as she pulled her hand away.

“I mean no harm, I assure you that looks I do not see this ugliness you keep referring to. You intrigue me, and I can see that you are kind- hearted and have an inner beauty.” He reached for her hand again and this time she let him hold it for a few moments. The following silence was broken when he asked, “Would you mind if I pulled up a chair and helped you with that silver?” Her eyes grew large and she started to object when he said, “Before you protest and say it wouldn’t be proper, allow me to remind you of who the master of this house is and gives the orders.” Reginald said with a twinkle in his eye as he grabbed a nearby chair. 

Cecily didn’t protest, she could barely even speak as she felt that hope within her start to swell. Maybe she would learn for herself the truth of father’s tales.  

"Delight In The Life You Have"

The title of this post is a quote from a talk given at a CES Fireside with Elder Dallin H. Oaks and his wife Kristen. She spoke to us young single adults as how she described herself, "the poster child of the single adults". She spoke about recognizing the blessing that this time in our life is even when it doesn't feel so blessed. Now is when we become the people that we want to be for the rest of our lives by the choices we make. We can't hang back and be angry or sad that our lives aren't we think they ought to be. If we aren't happy now we will never be happy in marriage. She spoke knowing this from experience because she was in her 50's when she married. The night of this fireside I feared that maybe she was talking to me that maybe just maybe it would be another 20-30 years before I would receive the blessings that I so wanted. Pushing aside the fear, I also felt she wasn't speaking to me in that point, that I would someday receive the blessings that I desired but if it so happened that I would have to wait longer than I would like, I would be okay.
Now I'm not saying that night changed my life. I quickly forgot the things that were taught that night and only remembered that I enjoyed the things that she had to say. But I have recently gone back and listened again to her talk and had the realization that what she taught was the exact transformation I needed in my life and that Heavenly Father had given me without my even realizing it.
I began to delight in the life I had when I moved to Logan and was surrounded by girls that quickly became my best friends, that taught me that life was great even though it wasn't always fun. If I have learned something the last year it is that life definitely isn't always easy and doesn't often go the way that we want it to but it can always be great. There can always be something to be grateful for and happy about. My life has certainly had it's trials and I have often wondered why what I wanted never seemed to be an option. But what has changed has been me and my expectations. Not giving up but looking to what I have control of in my life and making it worth while. My deepest desire is and will always be to be a wife and a mother. Giving up is not an option. I want to become a better me even if no one else cares or sees it.
So for the few of you that may read my blog I apologize that it has taken me so long to figure it out, that I have been so poor me for so long.  I have learned to "delight in the life" that I have, realizing I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be.

New and Exciting Things

All sorts of new and exciting things are happening all around. Well maybe just a few. First off I finally found a job. It took longer than I would have liked and I had almost given up when I found a school that actually wanted to give me a job. I now work at Scera Park Elementary. I have recently finished my first week and can say that it is a fantastic job. Everyone has been so welcoming and encouraging that I have found the awkward period of adjusting to a new environment almost non-existent. No awkward moments when you get that look from teachers you don't work with that says who are you and what are you doing wandering around our school. Instead I have been stopped in the hall numerous times just for people to introduce themselves and welcome me to the school. I am pretty good at my job but only when I feel comfortable and needed and I have felt that in just one week of working there.

Coming soon will be a new blog! No not another place to share my rants and raves but I am actually starting a blog testing and offering my opinions on the things I find on Pinterest. I've been working my way through several things on Pinterest and finding that some are keepers and some just definitely are not so I wanted to keep track of what was what. I figured others with less time on their hands might be interested in knowing which pins would be worth their time and effort so I am working on that and it should be up soon!

The biggest new thing is a little girl names Tamsin. I officially became an aunt 6 weeks ago and it really is as great as I had hoped it to be. I'm able to work my baby magic when it's needed and pass her off when that magic falls flat. Not to mention that she is just pretty darn cute and we get lots of cuddle time!!

Brand new Tamsin looking and smelling so good and new

A very important milestone in a girl's life
Baby's First Trip to Target

                                                         

Here she is now, just getting a little to big a little too fast

And just so you can die from exposure to extreme cuteness :) .......

Here I Am

Well I can't say that I am here with any great stories to tell or things to say but I think writing is kinda like praying; when you don't want to do it, do it anyway, do it till you want to be doing it. Now I realize that might get a raised eyebrow or two and I realize writing might not seem that important but I guess what I'm trying to say is you just have to go for it. Most of the time when I sit down to write I don't have anything specific in mind that I want to write I just have a need to have some of the thoughts floating around in my head be heard in one way or another.
One of the things that I find most frustrating about myself is my inability to speak. Usually it is nerves that rid my brain of any intelligible thoughts so I just don't know what to say but the older I get and the more confidence I gain it seems the problem isn't always not knowing what to say but finally having something to say and not being able to get it out in audible tones. It seems that even though I feel like I am speaking normally my voice just seems to get softer and softer making it, by what I've been told, very frustrating to talk to me since I can't be understood. Trust me when I say I feel the frustration just as much as those trying to listen to me, I hate that nobody can hear me. I have no desire to be a loud mouth but I would be okay with a normal voice :)
That being my greatest frustration at the moment I also got a haircut this past week that I HATE!!! It was suppose to be so cute and yet every time I look at myself in the mirror or try to do something with it I just want to cry. I don't know if I've ever really had a bad haircut but this one is definitely it. It's very sad indeed.
On the positive side I was able to get a new skirt from Target to wear today to church. I've been wanting a pencil skirt for sometime and finally found one that I love. I only had to sell my soul to my mother in order to get it but based on how I felt wearing it today, it was worth it.
Speaking of selling my soul, I have no direction in life and feel completely lost. I have no idea what I should be doing with myself or where I should be going. I'm growing an aversion to talking to people since the natural course of conversation takes us directly to this point and I feel that sense of togetherness and maturity I might possibly have given off in the conversation leading up to the point falls completely flat when they realize that in fact I'm just a big fat loser. The bumming on my parents couch, jobless, nearly 30 year old loser that I am is the only thing they can now see and so turn around and walk away. Yes I do know that is what they are doing when an other wise nice conversation suddenly turns cold but maybe here we have the culprit stealing my voice. Inside I still have confidence and know that I am in fact not a loser, struggling a bit, but not a loser. Despite some of the things I lack I believe I actually have something to offer others. I still have a desire to do good in the world and to be a better person and to befriend those around me. I'm still passionate about things even when it gets harder and harder to show it. Inside I'm sticking up for myself to all those people that turn and walk away even though on the outside I show none of that. Somehow I have got to find my voice and step out into the scary world and make a life for myself all rather daunting of course but do-able if I could just figure out how to take that first step, right now it's all just darkness.
Wish me luck!

Oh technology

It's been awhile since I have been on blogger, I guess I figured I was tired of using it as a venting session and giving the impression that it was doom and gloom all the time. My life, although frustrating at times really isn't do bad and I have actually been thinking a lot about my writing and missing it. It's therapeutic and I love it so hopefully that means I will be getting back to it. Right now I am writing from the newest addition to the family, the iPad. This is where the war begins my great love hate relationship with technology. I hate depending on something so fickle as technology but boy do I love that thrill of a new toy and seeing all the new things I can do with it. This is being written at the end of a wasted day just merely tinkering around with this here IPad and as pathetic as that does make me feel I'm ok embracing that and will begin a new journey tomorrow unsticking myself from this thing and interacting with real people.
P.s. have you ever typed in an iPad? Why is that sensation such a thrilling one?
P.p.s. I know those of you seasoned iPad/iPhone users may laugh at this silliness but maybe you remember what it was like that first time ;)

Spinning a Story

So I tried my hand at a little short story tonight and thought I would share the outcome.
For a little background information: My roommate Whitney works as a dispatcher for the campus police and while she is working sometimes we go in to visit her. Tonight just happen to be one of those nights and while she was on break she took me into one of the interrogation rooms and told me to write a confession. For your amusement and maybe because I am a little proud of it, I will share it with you all.

  To Whom it May Concern,
            I have lived with this guilt too long and must come clean. I feel as though I must confess a sin too grave to speak out loud.
            On the morning of September 23, 2011 I had just returned to my apartment at 557 E. 400 N. #3 after a wild night spent in the company of a man I considered to be the love of my life. Much to my shame and possible eternal damnation I went against my conscience to give myself completely to this man I believed to be my soul mate. It was after He took that which is most precious from me that I learned of the false pretense under which it was taken. He was not the man that I had once thought just hours before. Filled with such horror and guilt at what I had done, something dark and sinister awakened within me. 
             The smugness with which the man, nay, this beast looked at me as some animal would look down on it's recently killed prey. Prey not killed out of necessity but merely sport. What ensued cannot be given in detail, as my memory has been obliterated, but this I must confess; the life of one Leilani Rose Richens was taken by my hands. Something that was building as I left that animal to return to my now shattered life snapped as my roommate Leilani questioned me when I returned home. Instead of attacking the one I truly hated I attacked her. I was crazed and possessed by a power far greater than my own. 
             You will find her body buried on Old Main under an unmarked mound of dirt and I will be awaiting you.


And what would be a story without a picture to go along with it. Thanks Whitney for drawing it out for everyone.

Haha I promise I am not disturbed and my roommates/those around me really have nothing to worry about ;) Writing can be so fun sometimes!

What Is This Passion You Speak Of

Well as you can probably guess I have failed at yet another thing. I felt like I was doing so well in everything and one weekend ruined everything. It wasn't even anything I could have seen coming. I went home for the weekend for my little sister's farewell. It wasn't particularly rough or anything but for some reason it seems to have marked my derailment.
I mean I have been feeling kinda lost for awhile now. Not really sure what I should be doing differently to make my life more interesting and fulfilling. Trying to find out what it is that I feel passionate about.
For everyone else it seems the answer is school. Most people aren't passionate about it but they know it is something they have to do in order to do that which they are passionate about. They know in which direction to look for the light at the end of the tunnel so it seems they are able to buckle down and get it done. For others of us, of which I feel the poster child of, we aren't sure if there even is a light at the end of the tunnel let alone where to find it.
Of course there are a few things that I feel passionate about, that I love doing and that make me feel good. Unfortunately none of these things are subjects to be studied at school. I can't find any of these things in the places I am looking. I have hesitated actually forming these thoughts but I think it is time that I started acknowledging it. I don't think school is where I am suppose to be.
I hesitate for several reasons. First we have been told by a prophet that we need to get an education. Second everyone around me thinks this is what I should do, and they speak from experience, knowing that it's better to get it done now rather than wait until you have to.
The third reason is my own logic. I am 26 years old, not married and no immediate prospects to change that. I feel like I need to be doing something productive with my life and the only thing I feel is productive is using my time to get an education. I haven't shared the reason why I moved away from home to come here to Logan but basically I felt like it was where I was suppose to be. The only logical reason I could think of for that necessity was school. Attend Utah State University, that was the answer. School must be this hard because I was going to the wrong school.
How wrong that proved to be. If this is what I am suppose to be doing with my life why does it make me so unhappy? It has only become more clear that I do not want to major in Elementary Education, no big deal right? Just pick a new major. Weighing my options and researching different majors I have only become more confused into a state I can only describe as a stupor of thought. I never understood that phrase before but I think I'm beginning to. It isn't just a matter of making a decision and asking if it is right but not even knowing what decision to make. Trying to describe it would be useless I think. It feels like the light goes out on my thoughts and I can't find a way to move forward. It is a constant sick to my stomach feeling about any major I have considered.
I enjoy living on my own. I love living far enough away that I don't constantly head back to my safety net. I love that I have become confident and happy in my social life. I wish there was more to it but for once I look forward to it and instead of cowering in the corner watching others, feeling completely inadequate, I now participate with confidence comfortable with who I am. I'm not saying I'm a regular chatterbox but if I want to say something I do. I haven't had any dates yet but I'm getting more comfortable and better at putting myself out there. Maybe that's the reason I was suppose to come to Logan.
So if doing it everyone elses way isn't working what is my way? I don't know just yet but here are a few of the things that make me happy; being around other people, going to institute, cooking and trying new things in the kitchen, writing talks(odd I know but I enjoy it), taking care of others, finding opportunities to serve others. I wouldn't say that I was particularly good at any of these things but when I do them I am happy and I would consider these things to be things that I am passionate about.
So how do I go about my life doing the things that make me happy? Sound like being a mother would be the perfect fit but for some reason Heavenly Father doesn't think it's time yet so what do I do in the mean time? What is it that I'm suppose to be learning or accomplishing? What am I suppose to become in the mean time? Why are there no answers? Maybe I should seriously look into being a nanny?

Let's Get Acquainted Day 17

What Makes You Insecure/Proud

Well this whole blog is dedicated to my insecurities so I'm going to go with something that makes me proud.  I am a most proud of earning one of these:

I am proud of these three. Each one was my companion starting on the left and working my way to the right. Hna. Guerrero from Esmeraldas Ecuador was my second companion, Hna. Najarro from El Salvador was my third companion, and Hna. Sanchez from Esmeraldas was my fifth companion. I am proud of this because we all had our struggles together but these three became three of my best friends. I am proud of the friendships I made in Ecuador. To this day almost four years after leaving I still have contact with lots of missionaries and members alike. It was the first time I knew that others could see that I cared and was a good person when all along I feared that even though I felt it I couldn't express it. They all proved me wrong.

I love this picture and it was a very happy day indeed even though you can tell from the picture that I was not there. That was the story of my mission, nobody that I taught from the beginning ever got baptized while I was in the area but after I left. We weren't the first missionaries to find Gabriel but he hadn't been taught in a while. His wife was inactive and he was not a member when we went to visit. We went there a couple of times a week to teach him but he was afraid of the word baptism. Afraid he couldn't stay strong after he made the commitment. He led family prayer at night and read daily from the scriptures with his wife. He attended church and had a desire to take his family to the temple but put it off because of insecurities. My companion saw this in her own family with her dad. He said he wanted to get baptized but never would commit and it had been many years. She wanted us to stop visiting Gabriel y Venus but I made her keep going. We started to focus on Venus and then I was transferred out of the area. Hna. Najarro and her companion continued to work with them and two months after I left and a few days after Hna. Najarro left to go home, Gabriel was baptized. The night I got that phone call was one of the best. Within a few weeks of his baptism he had baptized a few members of his family and was planning on more a few weeks after that. I can't take credit for any baptism that took place but it made me proud that I was able to be a part of his.

The mission is loaded with happy moments that make your heart swell with gratitude and I can't share all of them but these are two :) Maybe later I can share more.

LGA Day 16

Let's Talk Crazy


Honestly, I don't really know what this is asking of me. Is it wanting to know what drives me crazy? What is it exactly that makes me crazy? What I consider living it up or getting crazy?
Really I don't know how to answer either one of those questions.
I think I become a crazy person when I get stressed or when I have to many decisions to make. By crazy here I am referring to those times when I start to shut down. Instead of dealing with my stress in a productive way it usually means I do nothing. I sit and over analyze things to point that nothing makes sense anymore. I don't just over analyze the problem at hand, once it starts it doesn't stop and everything gets thought over from every angle leading to one big mess. If you ever see me and I'm kind of just sitting staring into space for unnatural amounts of time and you start to wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. Don't worry I may look like I'm crazy, I will not start rocking back and forth in a fetal position humming to myself but my mind is going a million miles a minute thinking about everything that has led me to this point in time and trying to figure out every possible outcome. Which I do fully realize is an impossible task but it is what I do best. And if that's not crazy I don't know what is.

*please don't get scared away by this :) 

LGA Day 15

Describe Your Dream Home


My dream home is filled with two or three little kids running around after bath time with an awesome husband chasing them down while I'm taking care of the baby. When they are contained we have story time and mom and dad tuck them in.
Haha just kidding (not really) I know what it was really asking. My dream house isn't something that I am very particular about, but there are a few features that I think would make it ideal.
First it has to have a kitchen with an island and lots of windows.
Second it needs to have a big porch where we can all sit on a Sunday evening in our rocking chairs or comfy porch swing. A porch the kids can lounge around reading on in the summer.
Third, I would like it to have a decent sized yard. Someplace the kids can easily play and run around in. Maybe throw a ball around. Where I can grow my own vegetables and herbs and so I can wake up on Saturday mornings to the sound of my husband (and by husband I mean Awesome husband) mowing the lawn and the smell of fresh cut grass filling the air. That I'm afraid is not negotiable.
Size of house really doesn't matter much to me. I don't want a huge house with lots of cool features, I just want a house sufficient for our needs. I don't mind kids sharing bedrooms.
I think it would be great if it was a combination of Father of the Bride and Green Gables. Green Gables on the outside, Father of the Bride on the inside. Yes, I am aware that that is structurally impossible but if it's my dream home that means I can dream about it.
Follow this link to see other houses that I could easily fall in love with.

LGA Day 14

Someplace You Want to Travel


Such a loaded question. Really it should be where do I have no desire to visit? The top of my list would be the following

    I want to visit the UK so much. Is it the accents, the culture, the scenery? I don't know, but I would very much like to find out. Scotland is where I would want to go more than anything. Someday I will get there.




  If you took Scotland off the table, my dream vacation would be India. I think it would be amazing to go there. I would like to meet the Indian people.

But, if I came into some money as tempting as these places would be I think I would head straight back to Ecuador. I think it would be weird going back as a tourist rather than a missionary. It makes me nervous that I would be disappointed but I can't wait to go back to see the people that I grew close to and the places that hold so many good memories. I dream of going back here.

LGA Day 13

Someone Who Has Impacted Your Life


Outside of the obvious answers of my mom and dad or my sibling or the friends that have been around forever, I would like to dedicate this particular post to my cousin Chesney.
While running the risk of sounding cheesy I want to say that Chesney always has my back. We live far away and have only started getting to know each other the last couple of years but she has become someone that I can always count on for that extra boost of confidence and that supportive nudge when life gets to be too much.
Coming home from the mission was so much harder than I anticipated and life certainly hasn't gone the way I would have chosen it to go. The person that I became on the mission all but disappeared when I got home. The new me and my old life didn't seem to mix so foolishly I chose to the old life as it seemed the path of least resistance. I'm not talking about major repentance type issues but more the total lack of confidence. Not being able to open my mouth and feeling completely useless. I liked being invisible because if people didn't get to know me than they wouldn't find out I was just a big loser.
That isn't the kind of person I was as a missionary and that's not the kind of person I wanted to be ever again but by the time I realized it, it was to late, I had already become that person again.
I am happy to report that I no longer feel like that person, I feel like the missionary I once was only without the name tag.  I feel more positive and happy. I like talking to people and letting them know what I'm thinking. I enjoy actually participating in things. I no longer feel like a loser. I might even say that I'm a pretty cool person ;)
She probably has no idea but Chesney is the one that helped that happen. She invited me out to stay with her in Texas one summer. It wasn't a short visit either. When I went to book my flight for some reason I booked it for a one month stay. I had no idea what I was doing and like I was making a huge mistake because I would for sure wear out my welcome. I didn't even know Chesney or her family very well. She let me come for that long though and it was that time I spent in Texas that started that change. From that point on I have increasingly become the type of person that I want to be. I had found a kindred spirit and I will always be grateful for that blessing.

LGA Day 12

Something You Are Particular About


My clothes and hair. I am very particular about what I am wearing and what my hair looks like. I unfortunately am not one of those people that can just jump out of bed pull my hair up through on a t-shirt and jeans or even sweats for that matter, and head off to class. I have to get dressed and do my hair or I am very uncomfortable throughout the day. Does this mean I looked overdressed somedays? Most likely but it's what makes my comfortable and I guess what helps me feel more confident. Does this mean I always look great? Heavens no. Sometimes planned out outfits actually make me more uncomfortable and leave me wondering what I was thinking. I have to at least make an effort though.
For those of you that frequent Pinterest you might have seen this before, this is totally me. You can even substitute wasting a good hair day on an insignificant day. Sadly I am being completely serious. There is nothing worse that having a great hair day when nobody sees it or having a stroke of genius in putting an outfit together and not having any occasion to wear it.
I sometimes wish I was that person that simply didn't care. I know I don't care what other people look like and they don't care what I look like but for me I have to care, and it has to be just right :)

LGA Day 11

Who is Your Favorite Artist or Band?


Again with the music question? Really? Okay let's try narrowing this down.

Brad Paisley

Keith Urban

Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

Reik

Michael Ball

Doris Day

and of course Brittany Spears (it's kind of a guilty pleasure)

Haha okay not really on that last one, I promise!! I feel like answering these types of questions solidifies my wierdo factor. I know it's kind of a strange range but maybe instead of thinking I have odd tastes maybe you can look at it as though I'm just eclectic because I was totally kidding about the Brittany Spears thing :) Otherwise you would have my permission to brand me as a wierdo.

LGA Day 10

A Photo Then and Now

1986

My first birthday at my Grandparents House in Savannah, Georgia

2011

Also in Savannah, Georgia. This time I was visiting with my cousin Chesney. This was only my third time visiting Georgia but it's a fun place to go. This was taken on River Street.

LGA Day 9

Something That Makes My Life Easier


A schedule definitely makes my life easier to handle. I'm not talking about a missionary schedule where my days are all planned out but more along the lines of just staying busy. Maybe having some structure is a better way of saying than a schedule. I have a hard time when I don't have regular things to do. I find that when I have a lot of free time I get a little lost. I love having someplace to be and something that I have to do. It's far to easy to put things off and start to over think things to to the point of sheer panic and anxiety. I really need something to look forward to in my life and then I'm a pretty happy camper. When I get down and depressed or outright overwhelmed with life it's usually because I have to much free time.

LGA Day 8

Something You Hate


I wouldn't necessarily call myself a hater but there are a few things that tend to drive me crazy. I really don't like when people don't take care of their yards. I know it can be a lot of work and maybe it's because I come from a family that always took good care of our yard but it really bothers me when I pass a house that is surrounded my weeds or dead grass. If yard work isn't really your thing you don't have to have anything special going on in your yard but you should certainly at least have some grass that you cut every once in a while. Call me petty for being bugged by something so silly but you wanted to learn more about me so there you have it :)
I also hate people that are inconsiderate of other people. I was lucky to have a mom that taught me to think and care about others. It really bothers me when people don't seem to be aware of those around them.

LGA Day 7

A Photo That Makes Me Happy

I was not a dog fan when this little pooch came home. I was rather upset actually but how can you not change your mind after looking at that face. He has a pretty darn cute personality to go along with it despite his annoying qualities. Now that I've been away from home for a little while I realize how much I want to have a dog around, it makes me happy.

This isn't the picture I wanted to show of them but it's the only one the computer would let me use. I love this family more than anything. This was my very first baptism in the mission which makes it special but I also spend my entire time in my first area (6 months) visiting this family a couple of times a week. Only days after I was transferred from the area they moved to Venezuela to find better work. Because of that I have lost total contact with them. I don't know where they are or how they are doing and none of the contact info I gave them works now so it's looking kinda hopeless. BUT even though there is a twinge on sadness looking at their pictures not knowing, I know that they are okay because they have good, strong, true testimonies. I can't wait for the day I will meet them again. 

LGA Day 6

My Most Treasured Item(s)

I had to think about this one a lot. I'm a sentimental person and like to keep things (attachment issues NOT hoarding issues) but I don't think there is any one thing that I couldn't live without. There is somethings that I would be painful to loose and that would be the things I have from my mission. 

I'm one of those that has really struggled leaving the mission behind. I think the worst part about leaving an area or the mission all together is wondering if the people that you grew to love so much and could never ever forget, will even remember you after you're gone. You only have one mission but they stay there with a constant parade of new missionaries. 

Anyway, my most treasured item would be my box of mission memories. Pictures, journals, notes from fellow missionaries, bus tickets, plane tickets, gifts from members, letters from home, all the emails I wrote, etc. I tried to save everything and am so glad I did when I start looking through the box. They are just things but it was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me so far and I can't wait to go through it and share the stories with my kids.

LGA Day 5

A Favorite Quote


"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
                         --Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love that this quote let's you know that it isn't your accomplishments as the world would see them that makes your life special. It is who you are as a person and your contribution to society is how you treat those around you. History books may remember people for great accomplishments but the ones that are really revered and remembered are those that took care of the ones around them, the ones that knew who they were and stayed strong amid trails and tribulations.
I won't make a name for myself out in the world but if I can make those around me "breath easier" than I would be happy. I still have a ways to go to become that kind of a person but we all have something we're working on.