Preguntas del Alma

Well once again there are something that have got me thinking and wondering and for need of a place to vent my feelings I turn to you dear blog. To be perfectly honest I love my blog and being able to express some of the many things that go through my head. Maybe some of them should be saved for the privacy of my own journal but I find this more therapeutic.

The random news is that my ticker says that I'm about to reach 500 visitors to my blog. I know I don't have that many friends so leave a comment so I know who's out there. Just throwing that out there.

So to get to the point, I have been thinking a lot lately about my future plans. I'm really struggling with school these days. I do not enjoy it and here is why. My whole life I have been going in one direction, Elementary Education. I love children and I love working with them and know that is where I have most of my gifts and talents. I sometimes feel as though it's a moral obligation to fulfill because of the need to develop my talents. I love my job and am good at it. I love primary and believe that I do a good job there as well. Elementary Ed. seems like the logical thing, right?!?

So why doesn't it feel right ?!?

Ever since I came home from my mission life has been like a new puzzle that I have to figure out. Some pieces look familiar but there are a lot of those pieces I'm not sure how to piece together to make the big picture. Everything I thought I had figured out in my life seems to not exist anymore.

Today I was talking with a friend of mine about our mutual dislike of school and she pointed out that knowledge is what is important not college. College just doesn't work for some people and I think I am quickly becoming one of them. I learn by seeing and doing, by trial and error my poor brain can't handle sitting through lectures and reading text books anymore.

I have a mind like a sieve!!!

I hate not having the time and energy to give my 100% to the things that I love. I'm not doing my best at work, I'm not able to help those around me and it's killing me. My dilemma is that this is probably just growing pains that everyone has to go through while growing up but then on the other hand should I have to grin and bear it while being completely miserable or should I get to enjoy life the way I want to?

I don't want to be a quitter and pay the consequences later but then I don't know what I want to do with school and this may be a sensitive subject but I think a higher degree is losing it's value in today's economy. If I am going to put that much effort into something, I want it to be something that I love and am passionate about. Elementary Ed. just doesn't fit that criteria anymore.

Maybe when I figure out what it is that I want to do with my life I can go back to school until then, I just don't know.

Thanks for listening and don't forget to leave a comment so we can become blogging friends :)

I Just Might Be Crazy

My goal this year was to do something I've been afraid of doing, running a 5k. It's not like it's a marathon a 5k shouldn't be that scary but I HATE Running!!! I like the idea of running, it seems so invigorating and fun but oh so painful. I'm afraid of it being so painful that I can't finish but being inspired by The Biggest Loser and with support from many people around me I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it :)

The reason why I think this might be a little crazy is that I signed up for the Rex Lee Run which is March 13. That is two weeks away! Two weeks!!!! I haven't even tried out my new running shoes and haven't done much more than my yoga in months. I'm really hoping this will start something great and keep me going rather than totally kill me off. I hope I don't have to have someone come pick me up off the side of the road :)

Even though I haven't done any training I've got the most important stuff taken care of; I bought my shoes, loaded my music on my ipod and bought my armband. It's a piece of cake after that ;) haha

Feeling Swamped

Sometime life can just feel like too much. Too much to do and too little time. Last semester I can honestly say that I enjoyed working full time and going to school full time but no longer can that be said.

I'M SO TIRED!!!

Just when you think you have things figured out you realize you couldn't be more wrong. Let's just say that surviving the next 2-3 months is the only thing I can think about and then get ready cause there is going to be some celebrating!!!!

No Greater Call

This semester I’m taking an institute class called Doctrine of the Gospel. I’ve only ever taken Book of Mormon classes hoping that it would help me improve my reading habits but I decided it was time for something different. I love this class and am learning a lot.

Yesterday in our class we were learning about the priesthood and we read some quotes that really made me think. We talked about how important a woman’s role is with the priesthood. I’ve never felt cheated by not having the priesthood and I understand that my role as a woman is just as important but maybe I didn’t realize just how important it really was. Here are some of the quotes we read:

Elder Boyd K. Packer: “It is interesting to know how man is put together-how incomplete he is. His whole physical and emotional, and for that matter, spiritual nature, is formed in such a way that it depends upon a source of encouragement and power that is found in a woman. When man has found his wife and companion, he has in a sense found the other half of himself. He will return to her again and again for that regeneration that exalts his manhood and strengthens him for the testing that life will give him. A woman has the privilege and influence to transform a man into an able and effective LDS priesthood leader. However, for this there are two prerequisites. First, she must want to, and second, she must know how. Part of knowing how includes the genius of encouraging him to meet his obligations without replacing him in his role, and without presiding over him.”

“However much priesthood power and authority the men may possess—however much wisdom and experience they may accumulate—the safety of the family, the integrity of the doctrine, the ordinances, the covenants, indeed the future of the Church, rest equally upon the women. The defenses of the home and family are greatly reinforced when the wife and mother and daughters belong to Relief Society. No man receives the fullness of the priesthood without a woman at his side. For no man, the Prophet said, can obtain the fullness of the priesthood outside the temple of the Lord. And she is there beside him in that sacred place. She shares in all that he receives. The man and the woman individually receive the ordinances encompassed in the endowment. But the man cannot ascend to the highest ordinances—the sealing ordinances—without her at his side. No man achieves the supernal exalting status of worthy fatherhood except as a gift from his wife.”

I wanted to share these because it made me realize just how special my role is and how much more so when I finally receive that blessing of becoming a wife and a mother.

No longer will I look at my own faults as reasons why I’m not married. Sure I have them, lots of them, but I also have a lot to give. I honestly believe, without tooting my own horn in any way, that I will make a good wife and a great mother. I might even be bold enough to say that some guy would be lucky to have me!!!

I don’t know about you but I like to feel special and sometimes I need outside sources to help me feel that way. This is something that makes me feel special. I have a very important purpose in this life and I know I’ve been prepared to fulfill that purpose whenever the time comes. I hope you girls out there all feel special too cause we are AWESOME*!!

*I have no idea why I use this word so much lately but when I feel strongly about something that is the only word that seem adequate to express it, maybe I watch too much Chuck J

Maybe a little obsessed!

I've always been a little afraid of what people think of me putting too much value into what others thought of me. I only say that because I just figured that if I admitted how much I love TV people would just assume that meant I was pretty darn lazy. Maybe that's true but now I'm willing to admit, I love TV. I don't just watch anything for the sake of watching but when I find a show worth my time I watch it to near obsession. I just started watching Robin Hood from the BBC and LOVE it, maybe even a little too much.

Who can resist great accents and some good looking honorable men :) If that's not your thing that's okay but if it is you should maybe check it out.

Just so I don't give more credit to one of four favorite shows here are a few others that I like just a little too much

So there you have it, my little secrets :)

What I'm Looking For

I just saw this on someone's blog and really liked it. I want someone that can truthfully say that to me. I'm taking a Marriage Relationships class this semester (not in preparation for anything mind you) and we talked about this last night in our class. We made a list of the must haves in a relationship. Without putting quiet so nicely this is what was at the top of my list.

I know I have faults and lots of them, it's unrealistic that I will find someone that sees me as flawless and in reality I wouldn't want that, but someone that loved things about me that I didn't, someone that saw me for more than I see in myself. Someone that loved me and made me feel important and special and needed for who I am. Guys that can't do that need not apply (as if there is a waiting list, hahaha)!!

Is anyone out there?

So since I've been so busy on my vacation doing practically nothing and not getting bored with it I've been trying to give my blog a facelift. As you may notice I have a new background which I like but I'm not sure I love yet. That's about as far as I've gotten, as far as I've been able to understand. This is even after dedicating several hours to it. How do people make their blogs so cute and unique?

One of the things I was able to add though was a clicker. A little thing at the bottom of the page that counts how many visitors I have. To my shock and amazement that number seems to be growing. I didn't know people actually looked at this thing. I do know a couple of people but according to my clicker it's more than I expected. Knowing this I might do some things a little different.

There is a zone between a whiner and complainer and pretending the world is perfect and there can't possibly be anything wrong with my life. It's the reality zone where good things happen and life is good but some days are bad days and sometimes life just stinks. Lately I think I have been leaning more toward the whining and complaining and not really looking at the good things in life. So here is one of my goals this year, look at what is good, find the blessings and have more patience and faith in the down times. That's what's going to make this year a great year.

And if your reading this, thanks for taking the time. It makes me feel a little special that people might actually be interesting in reading about my life :)