Let's Get Acquainted Day 17

What Makes You Insecure/Proud

Well this whole blog is dedicated to my insecurities so I'm going to go with something that makes me proud.  I am a most proud of earning one of these:

I am proud of these three. Each one was my companion starting on the left and working my way to the right. Hna. Guerrero from Esmeraldas Ecuador was my second companion, Hna. Najarro from El Salvador was my third companion, and Hna. Sanchez from Esmeraldas was my fifth companion. I am proud of this because we all had our struggles together but these three became three of my best friends. I am proud of the friendships I made in Ecuador. To this day almost four years after leaving I still have contact with lots of missionaries and members alike. It was the first time I knew that others could see that I cared and was a good person when all along I feared that even though I felt it I couldn't express it. They all proved me wrong.

I love this picture and it was a very happy day indeed even though you can tell from the picture that I was not there. That was the story of my mission, nobody that I taught from the beginning ever got baptized while I was in the area but after I left. We weren't the first missionaries to find Gabriel but he hadn't been taught in a while. His wife was inactive and he was not a member when we went to visit. We went there a couple of times a week to teach him but he was afraid of the word baptism. Afraid he couldn't stay strong after he made the commitment. He led family prayer at night and read daily from the scriptures with his wife. He attended church and had a desire to take his family to the temple but put it off because of insecurities. My companion saw this in her own family with her dad. He said he wanted to get baptized but never would commit and it had been many years. She wanted us to stop visiting Gabriel y Venus but I made her keep going. We started to focus on Venus and then I was transferred out of the area. Hna. Najarro and her companion continued to work with them and two months after I left and a few days after Hna. Najarro left to go home, Gabriel was baptized. The night I got that phone call was one of the best. Within a few weeks of his baptism he had baptized a few members of his family and was planning on more a few weeks after that. I can't take credit for any baptism that took place but it made me proud that I was able to be a part of his.

The mission is loaded with happy moments that make your heart swell with gratitude and I can't share all of them but these are two :) Maybe later I can share more.

LGA Day 16

Let's Talk Crazy


Honestly, I don't really know what this is asking of me. Is it wanting to know what drives me crazy? What is it exactly that makes me crazy? What I consider living it up or getting crazy?
Really I don't know how to answer either one of those questions.
I think I become a crazy person when I get stressed or when I have to many decisions to make. By crazy here I am referring to those times when I start to shut down. Instead of dealing with my stress in a productive way it usually means I do nothing. I sit and over analyze things to point that nothing makes sense anymore. I don't just over analyze the problem at hand, once it starts it doesn't stop and everything gets thought over from every angle leading to one big mess. If you ever see me and I'm kind of just sitting staring into space for unnatural amounts of time and you start to wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. Don't worry I may look like I'm crazy, I will not start rocking back and forth in a fetal position humming to myself but my mind is going a million miles a minute thinking about everything that has led me to this point in time and trying to figure out every possible outcome. Which I do fully realize is an impossible task but it is what I do best. And if that's not crazy I don't know what is.

*please don't get scared away by this :) 

LGA Day 15

Describe Your Dream Home


My dream home is filled with two or three little kids running around after bath time with an awesome husband chasing them down while I'm taking care of the baby. When they are contained we have story time and mom and dad tuck them in.
Haha just kidding (not really) I know what it was really asking. My dream house isn't something that I am very particular about, but there are a few features that I think would make it ideal.
First it has to have a kitchen with an island and lots of windows.
Second it needs to have a big porch where we can all sit on a Sunday evening in our rocking chairs or comfy porch swing. A porch the kids can lounge around reading on in the summer.
Third, I would like it to have a decent sized yard. Someplace the kids can easily play and run around in. Maybe throw a ball around. Where I can grow my own vegetables and herbs and so I can wake up on Saturday mornings to the sound of my husband (and by husband I mean Awesome husband) mowing the lawn and the smell of fresh cut grass filling the air. That I'm afraid is not negotiable.
Size of house really doesn't matter much to me. I don't want a huge house with lots of cool features, I just want a house sufficient for our needs. I don't mind kids sharing bedrooms.
I think it would be great if it was a combination of Father of the Bride and Green Gables. Green Gables on the outside, Father of the Bride on the inside. Yes, I am aware that that is structurally impossible but if it's my dream home that means I can dream about it.
Follow this link to see other houses that I could easily fall in love with.

LGA Day 14

Someplace You Want to Travel


Such a loaded question. Really it should be where do I have no desire to visit? The top of my list would be the following

    I want to visit the UK so much. Is it the accents, the culture, the scenery? I don't know, but I would very much like to find out. Scotland is where I would want to go more than anything. Someday I will get there.




  If you took Scotland off the table, my dream vacation would be India. I think it would be amazing to go there. I would like to meet the Indian people.

But, if I came into some money as tempting as these places would be I think I would head straight back to Ecuador. I think it would be weird going back as a tourist rather than a missionary. It makes me nervous that I would be disappointed but I can't wait to go back to see the people that I grew close to and the places that hold so many good memories. I dream of going back here.

LGA Day 13

Someone Who Has Impacted Your Life


Outside of the obvious answers of my mom and dad or my sibling or the friends that have been around forever, I would like to dedicate this particular post to my cousin Chesney.
While running the risk of sounding cheesy I want to say that Chesney always has my back. We live far away and have only started getting to know each other the last couple of years but she has become someone that I can always count on for that extra boost of confidence and that supportive nudge when life gets to be too much.
Coming home from the mission was so much harder than I anticipated and life certainly hasn't gone the way I would have chosen it to go. The person that I became on the mission all but disappeared when I got home. The new me and my old life didn't seem to mix so foolishly I chose to the old life as it seemed the path of least resistance. I'm not talking about major repentance type issues but more the total lack of confidence. Not being able to open my mouth and feeling completely useless. I liked being invisible because if people didn't get to know me than they wouldn't find out I was just a big loser.
That isn't the kind of person I was as a missionary and that's not the kind of person I wanted to be ever again but by the time I realized it, it was to late, I had already become that person again.
I am happy to report that I no longer feel like that person, I feel like the missionary I once was only without the name tag.  I feel more positive and happy. I like talking to people and letting them know what I'm thinking. I enjoy actually participating in things. I no longer feel like a loser. I might even say that I'm a pretty cool person ;)
She probably has no idea but Chesney is the one that helped that happen. She invited me out to stay with her in Texas one summer. It wasn't a short visit either. When I went to book my flight for some reason I booked it for a one month stay. I had no idea what I was doing and like I was making a huge mistake because I would for sure wear out my welcome. I didn't even know Chesney or her family very well. She let me come for that long though and it was that time I spent in Texas that started that change. From that point on I have increasingly become the type of person that I want to be. I had found a kindred spirit and I will always be grateful for that blessing.

LGA Day 12

Something You Are Particular About


My clothes and hair. I am very particular about what I am wearing and what my hair looks like. I unfortunately am not one of those people that can just jump out of bed pull my hair up through on a t-shirt and jeans or even sweats for that matter, and head off to class. I have to get dressed and do my hair or I am very uncomfortable throughout the day. Does this mean I looked overdressed somedays? Most likely but it's what makes my comfortable and I guess what helps me feel more confident. Does this mean I always look great? Heavens no. Sometimes planned out outfits actually make me more uncomfortable and leave me wondering what I was thinking. I have to at least make an effort though.
For those of you that frequent Pinterest you might have seen this before, this is totally me. You can even substitute wasting a good hair day on an insignificant day. Sadly I am being completely serious. There is nothing worse that having a great hair day when nobody sees it or having a stroke of genius in putting an outfit together and not having any occasion to wear it.
I sometimes wish I was that person that simply didn't care. I know I don't care what other people look like and they don't care what I look like but for me I have to care, and it has to be just right :)

LGA Day 11

Who is Your Favorite Artist or Band?


Again with the music question? Really? Okay let's try narrowing this down.

Brad Paisley

Keith Urban

Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

Reik

Michael Ball

Doris Day

and of course Brittany Spears (it's kind of a guilty pleasure)

Haha okay not really on that last one, I promise!! I feel like answering these types of questions solidifies my wierdo factor. I know it's kind of a strange range but maybe instead of thinking I have odd tastes maybe you can look at it as though I'm just eclectic because I was totally kidding about the Brittany Spears thing :) Otherwise you would have my permission to brand me as a wierdo.