Well once again there are something that have got me thinking and wondering and for need of a place to vent my feelings I turn to you dear blog. To be perfectly honest I love my blog and being able to express some of the many things that go through my head. Maybe some of them should be saved for the privacy of my own journal but I find this more therapeutic.
The random news is that my ticker says that I'm about to reach 500 visitors to my blog. I know I don't have that many friends so leave a comment so I know who's out there. Just throwing that out there.
So to get to the point, I have been thinking a lot lately about my future plans. I'm really struggling with school these days. I do not enjoy it and here is why. My whole life I have been going in one direction, Elementary Education. I love children and I love working with them and know that is where I have most of my gifts and talents. I sometimes feel as though it's a moral obligation to fulfill because of the need to develop my talents. I love my job and am good at it. I love primary and believe that I do a good job there as well. Elementary Ed. seems like the logical thing, right?!?
So why doesn't it feel right ?!?
Ever since I came home from my mission life has been like a new puzzle that I have to figure out. Some pieces look familiar but there are a lot of those pieces I'm not sure how to piece together to make the big picture. Everything I thought I had figured out in my life seems to not exist anymore.
Today I was talking with a friend of mine about our mutual dislike of school and she pointed out that knowledge is what is important not college. College just doesn't work for some people and I think I am quickly becoming one of them. I learn by seeing and doing, by trial and error my poor brain can't handle sitting through lectures and reading text books anymore.
I have a mind like a sieve!!!
I hate not having the time and energy to give my 100% to the things that I love. I'm not doing my best at work, I'm not able to help those around me and it's killing me. My dilemma is that this is probably just growing pains that everyone has to go through while growing up but then on the other hand should I have to grin and bear it while being completely miserable or should I get to enjoy life the way I want to?
I don't want to be a quitter and pay the consequences later but then I don't know what I want to do with school and this may be a sensitive subject but I think a higher degree is losing it's value in today's economy. If I am going to put that much effort into something, I want it to be something that I love and am passionate about. Elementary Ed. just doesn't fit that criteria anymore.
Maybe when I figure out what it is that I want to do with my life I can go back to school until then, I just don't know.
Thanks for listening and don't forget to leave a comment so we can become blogging friends :)
