.: Do I Believe in Destiny?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Do I Believe in Destiny?

Well technically I would say no but my real questions is, am I destined to be a loser the rest of my life?

I mean really, what am I good at? Nothing. It's true that I'm not horrible at everything but do I have any special gifts and talents to boast about? If we are talking about school I think the answer to that would have to be a big fat NO. I've always enjoyed school for the most part but I've never been very good at it. I've never had grades to write home about but lately things have taken a dramatic turn for the worst.

One of the lessons that I learned thanks to the mission was that I can do hard things. So with that same attitude I tend to sign up for potentially fun classes that will be new and exciting. Last year it was advanced Spanish (I spoke the language fluently, sounds like a recipe for success to me!), this semester it's group piano (people make it look so easy!) but sadly they both have gotten the better of me.

I failed so miserably at Spanish that I ended up quitting about a month before finals thinking I was having a mental/emotional breakdown, maybe even losing my mind. I didn't want to quit that close to the end after putting in a semesters worth of work but I seriously couldn't go on.

Piano has proved to be the one class too many for me this semester. I don't want to be a quitter. I want to prove that I can still do hard things. Unfortunately, this class benefits me in no way and I'm so miserable and there is no way I can finish all that is required in the two class periods left (I don't even know what some of the assignments mean) so once again I have proven to be a failure. I can't stick through it, I can't succeed. Potentially this may even prolong may wait to get into the education program (they want hard working smart people) and yet here I sit in the next building over while class is getting started, blogging. Am I really, truly okay with that? Yes, I think I am.

I want to succeed in life but sometimes it's okay to fail as long as I don't let it stop me from doing what I want to do with me life. It makes me feel lousy but I'm only giving up on one class not life, right!

Now, I just need to learn how to tone down the drama :)

1 comment:

Chesney said...: Kaitlin- you need to believe in yourself no matter what happens. I know that is easier said than done. I know you are capable just have faith that you can accomplish your goals! I know a couple of little girls who think you are an amazing person and me too!; December 3, 2009 at 11:23 AM

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Unbroken - Laura Hillenbrand
This is a story about a man that ran in the 1936 Olympics in Germany and almost set the record for a four minute mile. That isn't even the incredible part of the story and this story really was incredible. With the start of WWII he joined the Air Corps and flew missions in the Pacific. His plane was shot down on one mission and only three men were able to make it onto a life raft where they spent the next 42 days. The rest of the war was spent in Japan in a POW camp where they were beaten mercilessly and starved to the point that the only thing keeping them alive was their will to not give in to their enemies. After his release he turned to alcohol as the only source of relief, nearly destroying his family. Although not written from a religious viewpoint, the thing that finally saved him was realizing that God really had been looking out for him during all he went through andd it was through this realization he was able to find peace, forgiveness and even compassion for those that had harmed him. It's an amazing story!

Maniac Magee - Jerry Spinelli
I had read this book before and even owned it but remembered nothing about it. I found it on my bookshelf and decided to give it a try and I'm so glad I did. It has earned a spot on my favorites list, I liked it that much.
Maniac wasn't born with that name He was born as Jeffery. The young boy who is orphaned at three and goes to live with an Aunt and Uncle who make unbearable so he runs away. Skin color and social status mean nothing to him and one day after crossing over into the black part of town he finds a family that offers him a real home. He is happy there but not everyone else is, so He runs away again. He ends up in the Buffalo pen at the zoo where an old man named Grayson finds him and together they become a family. After his death Maniac doesn't know where to go but ends up helping some of the poor ignorant white folks learn a thing or two about life and prejudice. He mends a lots of lives along his way and fides the home he's always wanted.
Highly Recommended

The Angels of Morgan Hill-Donna VanLiere
The title makes it sound like a Hallmark Hall of Fame worthy story and probably it is but I love Hallmark movies and this book was excellent! It's from the point of view of a young girl who lives with her mom and little brother in 1947. It starts out with the death of her no account drunk daddy and the day she saw the very first black family in her town. Little did she know that due to an accident the son, Milo, would be coming to live with her family. The book is an account of that first year together as a family, the challenges they face in a town where not everyone is so accepting of a colored boy living with a white family. Through it all they are able to grow together as a family and conquer prejudice with the help of some supportive friends and neighbors.
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North and South-Elizabeth Gaskill

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Highly Recommended.

On The Wings of Heros- Richard Peck

Richard Peck is one of my favorite authors of all time. His books are directed toward young adult/junior but they are so endearing and cute and funny and I LOVE them! This story is about a family during World War II told from the perspective of the youngest son who looks up to his personal heros his dad and older brother. His older brother is training to be a pilot in the Army and occasionally gets to come home on leave but most of the book he is away and they anxiously await his letters home. Dad is the kinda dad every young boy should have, one that his son looks up to as a hero not because he fought in the last war but because of the kind of man he is at home.

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Another Highly Recommended

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Wednesday, December 2, 2009