Monday, October 10, 2011

LGA Day 13

Someone Who Has Impacted Your Life


Outside of the obvious answers of my mom and dad or my sibling or the friends that have been around forever, I would like to dedicate this particular post to my cousin Chesney.
While running the risk of sounding cheesy I want to say that Chesney always has my back. We live far away and have only started getting to know each other the last couple of years but she has become someone that I can always count on for that extra boost of confidence and that supportive nudge when life gets to be too much.
Coming home from the mission was so much harder than I anticipated and life certainly hasn't gone the way I would have chosen it to go. The person that I became on the mission all but disappeared when I got home. The new me and my old life didn't seem to mix so foolishly I chose to the old life as it seemed the path of least resistance. I'm not talking about major repentance type issues but more the total lack of confidence. Not being able to open my mouth and feeling completely useless. I liked being invisible because if people didn't get to know me than they wouldn't find out I was just a big loser.
That isn't the kind of person I was as a missionary and that's not the kind of person I wanted to be ever again but by the time I realized it, it was to late, I had already become that person again.
I am happy to report that I no longer feel like that person, I feel like the missionary I once was only without the name tag.  I feel more positive and happy. I like talking to people and letting them know what I'm thinking. I enjoy actually participating in things. I no longer feel like a loser. I might even say that I'm a pretty cool person ;)
She probably has no idea but Chesney is the one that helped that happen. She invited me out to stay with her in Texas one summer. It wasn't a short visit either. When I went to book my flight for some reason I booked it for a one month stay. I had no idea what I was doing and like I was making a huge mistake because I would for sure wear out my welcome. I didn't even know Chesney or her family very well. She let me come for that long though and it was that time I spent in Texas that started that change. From that point on I have increasingly become the type of person that I want to be. I had found a kindred spirit and I will always be grateful for that blessing.

1 comment:

Chesney said...

I love it! Thank you! You know I totally got your back! You will have to make it a tradition to come visit me every summer! Love you and miss you!